The Chronicles of Vernon Wells

1:06AM: I just got home from work. Yeah it's Friday night, I know. But you see I work at an airport and it never closes. Like ever. I have been working there for over 10 years on shift, so I am wide awake and looking for some info. And I wanna get drunk.

1:10AM: Where to fucking start. V-Dub has been a Blue Jay his entire life. Drafted 5th overall in 1997. A lot of expectations when you go that high up. I remember him being referred to as having panache when he was in the Minors.

1:14AM: Looks like I need to get a beer.

1:16AM: Gotta say my favorite interview is this one. Funny how he's trashing Aaron Hill who I believe takes over the title as longest serving Blue Jay.

1:21AM: Jeremy over at 500 Level Fan made a solid observation that Tony Fernandez will remain the career games played leader. Vernon would have passed him this season for certain.

1:25AM: Smoke break. Stand by.

1:29AM: Taking a look at those all time Blue Jay records. V-Dub lifetime .280 hitter. Impressive. Considering he leads in at bats. Tony still got him in hits. More impressive.

1:33AM: I still remember like it was yesterday Jerry Howarth saying "It seems like there has been a changing of the guard in centrefield as Vernon Wells has supplanted Jose Cruz Jr." That would have been in 2001.

1:41AM: Need a beer. Almost out of the good stuff.

1:48AM: Just responded to the comments. Sorta. Love you guys for participating.

1:50AM: BJH comes right out with the elephant in the room. Vernon's contract. Widely regarded as THE WORST in baseball and potentially all of pro sports. Check it courtesy of Cot's.
Vernon Wells of
7 years/$126M (2008-14)

• 7 years/$126M (2008-14)
• signed extension with Toronto 12/06
• $25.5M signing bonus ($8.5M payment each March 1, 2008-10)
• 08:$0.5M, 09:$1.5M, 10:$12.5M,
  11:$23M, 12:$21M, 13:$21M, 14:$21M
• full no-trade clause (waived 1/11)
• Wells may opt out of contract after 2011
• award bonuses: $0.25M for MVP, $0.2M for WS MVP, $0.15M for LCS MVP, $0.1M for most All-Star votes in league
• Wells to donate $143,000 annually to Blue Jays charity
• acquired by LA Angels in trade from Toronto 1/21/11
• 5 years/$14.7M (2003-07)
• signed extension with Toronto 3/03
• $0.85M signing bonus
• 03:$0.35M, 04:$0.7M, 05:$2.9M, 06:$4.3M, 07:$5.6M
• award bonuses: $25,000 for All Star selection, $50,000 bonus for Gold Glove
• drafted by Toronto 1997 (1-5)
• $1.8M signing bonus
• agent: Brian Peters
• ML service: 8.113

1:53 Obviously in the AM

1:54 Vernon Wells won 3 gold gloves in a row. 2004, 2005, 2006 I recognize that.


1:57 I met Vernon. Well as much as you can meet someone in an autograph session. It was the during winter he signed his mammoth deal. Jimmy Triggs scored the invite. I got a ball and my bat signed. I remember that I made a point of congratulating him on his deal. He responded with "Well I'm going to be here for a while". I have to say that at that moment in time I was uber happy with that being the case. As of about 7 hours ago, not so much.

2:06 Uploading some pics. Stand by.

2:11 Zaunie and Gruber before you ask. Zaunie I got at the same autograph session as Vern. Gruber, well that's a whole different story.

2:18 Coors light tastes like water. And fuck the mountains.

2:19 Just looked at something. Check it. Circa 2009. Consider the time.

2:21 While we are at it, I wrote this. Circa 2009. Consider the time.

2:24 I called Vernon fat and bald.

2:25 Just looking at Vernon's contract again. Jesus. I wonder if he has to still donate $143,000 annually to Blue Jays charity. Good question. I'm sure he will.

2:28 Thinking about how he fits in with the Halos. Consider this: Torii Hunter moved to right field for this guy. I say Vernon plays LF. Should help him out quite a bit. That and the natural grass. I sincerely wish him well.

2:32 Starting to be concerned with the beer stock. It's not like I or anybody else knew that Vernon Wells and his immovable contract would be traded today when we got up. #silentassasin Hat tip to the BJH for the nickname. It fits.

2:41 Aren't all assassins silent? I mean it's still a total kick ass nickname for a Major League GM but isn't that part of the job description?

2:43 My hashtag didn't catch on. But I tried. It is important to repent your sins. I think all of us can honestly say we were a little to hard on Vern. Everyone except Navin. May the Vernon Wells Hatred Advisory System rest in peace.

2:51 Spell check and I are best friends.

2:56 Once upon a time I believed in Vernon Wells. I really, really x 100 did. Check it.

2:58 Wondering how many bombs Vernon hit in the SkyDome.

3:03 Found his splits for 2010. Ugly against lefties.

3:08 Gonna look into the home run at home question. Stand by.

3:15 It must be said that Fangraphs is the shit. Vernon Wells home runs at home:

• 2010: 21
• 2009: 8
• 2008: 11
• 2007: 8
• 2006: 24
• 2005: 14
• 2004: 14
• 2003: 13
• 2002: 10

He also hit a homer in 2001 and 1999. Doesn't look like they happened at home. Therefore his total at his former home is 123.

3:20 Beer #6

3:23 One of the guys I worked with, who is a hockey fan, pointed out that trades don't really happen in the NHL anymore. Not like this. It was an interesting discussion trying to equate this trade in hockey terms. Just a thought.

3:26 I'm gonna miss Vernon. I really am.

3:28 That being said, is there a King or a Prince in our future now.....

3:35 Boy Wonder weighs in. Some people are saying he is the early favorite for executive of the year.

3:39 Kenny breaks the story. Of course he did. That is what he does. What up Span?

3:46 Napoli kills lefties. Wells does not.

3:47 More video. The Angels probably felt like they had to do this deal.

4:01 I had a bunch of shit come to me and then it went away. Stand by.

4:02 It is 4 o'clock in the morning.....

4:03 So I guess Rajai is gonna play CF. I have no issue with that at all. Dare I say it is an upgrade?

4:07 Bautista. My brain sees that video and yeah.....Bautista

4:08 What does this deal mean for Bautista?

4:11 For starters it means he will be the highest paid player on your Toronto Blue Jays 2011 edition whether he wins or loses his arbitration hearing.

4:14 I once traded Juan Rivera and Matt Thornton for Brendan Harris and Joakim Soria in a fantasy baseball league. Just saying.

4:19 I like this deal. Vernon Wells for Juan Rivera and Mike Napoli. It was rumored that $5 million went from the Jays to the Angels in the deal. Or not. Does it really matter?

4:25 Check this shit out. Click here. Then here.

4:31 Why the fuck didn't we ask for Brandon Wood as a throw in? Am I the only guy that thinks he needs some steady at bats? Could have been a solution at 3rd base.

4:32 I have started my 2011 Toronto Blue Jay defensive positions depth chart. Kinda lost in the OF without Vernon. I always thought he would eventually end up in RF but now he is gone. Completely gone. His contract, his stranglehold on CF.....I am a little perplexed.

4:35 So this is what I got so far:

CF Rajai
2B Hill
SS Esco

4:37 Yeah that's all I got for sure. Whoa. Mind fuck.

4:42 Looking at the new 40 man roster. That's totally not helping at all. E5 and Lind listed as the DH. Napoli as a catcher and J-Bau still as an OF. Rommie Lewis got DFA'd to make room. Hope he sneaks through waivers, I like him.

4:43 The brain trust just traded Vernon Wells. It's starting to sink in.

4:45 Back to the defensive set up. I like Rivera in LF, Snider in RF, Bautista at 3B and Napoli as the back up catcher.

4:48 I think Adam Lind may be a platoon player next year. E5 and Napoli should be in the line up when anyone who throws with their left hand is pitching.

4:51 Wondering who the 4th OF will be if Bautista plays 3rd.

5:02 Fuck I'm not sure about anything. Expect that it's time for a smoke break.

5:07 Alright. The best thing that I can figure to do is run down the scenarios.

Preferred would be to keep Bautista happy which means right field. Based on that, I got:


RF Bautista
CF Davis
LF Snider
3B Lawrie or E5
SS Esco
2B Hill
1B Lind
C Arencibia
DH E5 if Lawrie makes the team. I hope he does. Napoli if he doesn't.

Bench:
Napoli
J Mac
Rivera
Molina (maybe)

5:16 More likely would be Bautista at 3rd.

5:17 Scenario #2:

RF Snider
CF Davis
LF Rivera
3B Bautista
SS Esco
2B Hill
1B Lind
C Arencibia
DH E5

Bench:
Napoli
J Mac
Patterson or Mastro
Molina (maybe)

5:21 I'm gonna sleep on it. It's getting hard to think and type.

Game 126 Recap: Live And In Effect

I sent out a text message around noon to see if I could find a wing man for the rubber match game against the Yankees. Only one willing and able man replied yes and that man was the infamous Jimmy Triggs.

Seeing a game with Jimmy is an experience that every Jays fan really should partake in. It's always a blast but there is one small downside, normally I can't remember much of the actual game at all. Game 126 was no different. Thank goodness for PVR. 

The Good:

• Vernon actually hitting like a clean up guy! 3 for 4 with a single, triple and a homer. He ended up with 4 RBI, 2 of them coming with 2 out.
• How about the hustle and heart shown by slugger J-Bau? He beat out an easy force play at second base, with 2 out, which ended up chasing starter Phil Hughes from the game. Nice call by umpire Jerry Meals. Still doesn't make up for his complete uselessness behind the plate in Game 124.
• Brett Cecil working out of a bases loaded jam in the top of the 2nd. It's a completely different game if he doesn't get out of that inning with no runs allowed. He ended up going 8 strong innings for the win.
• The group of fans in the outfield seats in right that continually chanted: Yankees SUCK. All game!

The Bad: 

Much was made early on in the season about umpire Joe West's comments regarding the pace of play for a game that the Yanks and Red Sucks played. At the time, Joe was made out to be the villain. 

For the record: I think West is a douchebag.

But after watching catcher Jorgay Posada make 6 trips to the mound in the first 4 innings, I gotta say West may be on to something. That total doesn't even include the 2 visits by the pitching coach and the 1 trip by the manager.  In total, 9 times a Yankee went to the mound to discuss something with their pitcher in the first 4 fucking innings.

The Ugly:

In classic Yankees fashion, the game was not over till it was in fact over. Somehow their hitters managed to get down to their final strike on 5 separate occasions before finally registering 3 outs in the top of the ninth. In those at bats they ended up getting 2 walks, a single, a HBP and then mercifully, the fly out to end the game. Love em or hate em you have to respect that. 

Of Note:

Brett Cecil's ERA in his first 13 starts of the season: 4.39
Brett Cecil's ERA in his last 8 starts not including this gem: 3.14

Game 23 Recap: Live And In Effect

What. A. Game.

I had to wait a while to report on the game due to various reasons, mostly pre and post game festivities related.  Hot Rod, The Raezor, Jimmy Botts, Jimmy Triggs and yours truly met up for a guaranteed shitshow.  The Raezor is in town for the weekend from Calgary and he wanted to see a game.  He mentioned to me that this would probably be his only game in the SkyDome this year and he wanted to do it up right.....

There was some serious heckling going on and we got to A's clean up hitter Kevin Kouzmanoff.  At one point I turned to the people in my section and encouraged them to "yell at somebody"  To my surprise, most of them actually did.  



Right at the end of the video you can see Buck's eyes look up quickly.....guarantee that was us.

During the post game interview of new hero John Buck, Hot Rod and I went down with the intent of yelling at Sam Cosentino.  At one point I was letting John know that I wanted to have his children and green coat security guy took note and made a threatening motion at me.  I laughed at him.  He called the cops.  Me and Hot Rod bounced.  Cops were waiting.  I recall the conversation well.

Officer: Sir you have been asked to leave.
Golden Arm: I will do just that.
Officer: Take a BIG sip of your beer and come with me.
Golden Arm (looking down at a half full beer): Yes sir.

As we got about half way to the door.

Golden Arm: Would be ok to take another sip?
Officer: Pound it. Hurry up we gotta make this look good.

I shook his hand as I exited the SkyDome.  Good times.

As you can probably guess, I had to watch the greatest invention in modern day history, the mighty PVR, to fill in the details.

Jays win 6 - 3.
Ricky stops the losing streak at 5.
Gregg got his 6th save striking out the side.
Justin DL Duchscherer limped off the mound in the fourth inning.  Glad I dropped him in my keeper league. 
John Buck and Travis Snider hit back to back jacks in the third.  Both were no doubters.

Buck got a rare three happy cats for his efforts.
He hit two fastballs and a curve over the wall for 3 home runs.
His last of the three bombs went off Windows in center.
He became the 15th Toronto Blue Jay in team history to accomplish that feat.
He had five of the six RBI for the game.    

I will send it over to King Jordan to describe the situation when he stepped up in his forth and final at bat in the 8th.

Courtesy of King Jordan:

TORONTO -- As John Buck approached the plate in the eighth inning of Thursday's game against the A's, he could barely hear himself think.
The crowd on hand at Rogers Centre rose to its feat and joined together in a chant of, "Buck! Buck! Buck!" Toronto's 6-3 win was close to being in the books -- thanks to a solid effort from starter Ricky Romero and Buck's heroics -- but that was not enough.
The fans were hoping to witness history -- a fourth home run in a single game from one of Toronto's players -- and Buck tried to deliver.
After falling into an 0-2 count against A's reliever Brad Ziegler, the big catcher took one final monstrous hack, sending the ball sky-high and eventually into the glove of Oakland right fielder Ryan Sweeney for a routine out.

The history the author is referring to in another one of his rock solid pieces happened once before in the SkyDome.  I remember it fondly.  We all need to keep going to the game people.  Cool shit happens.

The Jimmy Triggs Experience : Volume 1

For the record: I did not write this post.  This is a story from a friend of the site.  We here at 1bluejaysway hope that he will continue to write his thoughts on the game and after reading this masterpiece, we think you will too.....   

A home opener on a Monday night?  The scheduling Gods were not looking down on me favorably in 2010.

In my line of work, we shut down on weekends but our customers don’t, you can see how therefore Mondays can be a bit of a grind putting out not one, but three days worth of metaphorical fires. It is a very common occurrence for me or members of my team at work to put in a solid 13 hour day after ripping up the city, cottage, or suburbs for the 48 hours preceding it.

With that being said I had places to be. Being the only meathead in a large group of friends who actually lives (and pays for living) in the downtown core I was voluntold that a minimum of five friends would be arriving at my domicile no later than 4pm on the day of the home opener. I would normally just leave a key under the mat and cross my fingers as I actually do have a high level of trust with my comrades but a recent weekend of intrigue at Blue Mountain left me one set of keys and a $220 cab ride short. Therefore, I rode the rocket into work early on Monday, skipped lunch, and snuck out around 3:40. The ‘skipping lunch’ would come back to haunt me.

Just after 4pm I strolled into my house, geared out of my two piece (no tie) and investigated the kitchen for items that could be whipped into a quick lunch. You need to realize that I live in what could be described as the Websters definition of a bachelor lifestyle (read: condiments, beer, & bottled water). Before I could even think of dialing in for a pita or Thai my mobile spat out the always recognizable ring tone of Master P rapping about some girl (or gun, or currency?) named sha-na-na-na. I wouldn’t even know how to change the ring tone if I actually decided that the laughs it gives me were getting old (this also makes for some interesting looks in the boardroom). My evening’s associates had arrived and were currently outside maneuvering the over sized explorer into a neighbors reserved spot that probably cost the neighbor an extra $15k on his/her mortgage. I put the hunger pains into the back of my mind and cracked the first Rolling Rock I brought back from the States on a recent business trip.

Fast forward 2 hours and 12 beers later. After some good natured ribbing and a few past incidents retold for the benefit of a rookie who had tagged along from Owen Sound, we ventured out to the TTC with roadies in hand. I have a few close friends who could hit a 3 wood from my place to the bus stop yet all six of us smashed two beers on the walk. Upon realizing this, I remembered a literary term my grade twelve English teacher had explained to the class called foreshadowing.

Other than chirping at some clowns on Front Street who had been chased down (and caught) by their server after attempting a dine-and-dash the trip to the park and the line up to get in were pretty uneventful. We saddled up into our 3^rd / 4^th row seats in right field, sipped our first $9.50 beers of the season and continued the requisite banter of a bunch of drunks looking forward to the new season. The group of six grew to way over 10 as others in our group who could not slip out of work early, or realized that it was Monday and just used that as an excuse, joined us in our seats. We caught the end of workouts, player introductions, and some jumbotron videos and then rose for the anthems.

BLAM! Out of nowhere during the Canadian national anthem Ike Stake screamed at Alexis Israel Rios Cruz. Oh shit I thought, here we go. As has already been written in other sentences in other stories the game was somewhat of a blur. John Buck did in fact hit a monstrous shot to left field, and that was about all that John Labatt has allowed me to remember….. until the 6^th inning or so.

In the front row, some dude was rocking an Argonauts jersey. My associates, and myself I assume, were quick to point out to him that he was in fact at a Jays game, etc……… you know the drill. The guy, to his super credit, just laughed it off. Even when I asked him if he got to meet Burt Reynolds while he worked as an extra in Deliverance he just laughed. Then I noticed it, the glint in his eye that I had only seen once before. For those who know me think of the story about Bill Gates Jr. in Vegas. One man, no matter how nice he is, can only take enough shit while drinking beers in a masculine environment such as a casino or the SkyDome. In came Reliever Jancampgreggdownfraser to start an inning and the guy had had enough.

SCENE MISSING

I’ve been in the bowels of the Dome a few times over the years for autograph signings, season ticket holder tours, etc., but I was very impressed to find down there a temporary prison. Guards, bars, and shit I might have even seen Morgan Freeman selling a bag of drum to the dude with the bird who hung himself. Now, believe it or not, I’ve been in a few ‘situations’ like this before and let me tell you that the ‘situation’ can only get worse if you are being a dick. Men drink, men fight, and the cops do their job. If they decide I need to spend some time thinking about my actions then I am going to trust there judgment and agree. If they decide that I need to offer some apologies and do a little work at the local soup kitchen I am going to be the best damn soup ladler I can be. Arguing, or especially body arguing, with the law after 20 beers is a bad idea no matter what happened. You are drunk and they are not. You lose, they win. It’s as simple as that and since the existence of law and justice it’s always has been that way and will be that way long after I move on.

Keeping in mind this theory, I do my best to be cordial and apologetic while being marched down to the makeshift Shawshank. Upon approaching the detention centre my jaw dropped. There are men down here that are, and I use this term only because it fits, fucking losing it! I see cops sweating from having to corral these savages before they inflict more damage to themselves and others. Shit, if officer (enter name here) had taking my bracelets off I would have helped them keep the peace. Chairs were flying, blood was pouring and overall mayhem was ensuing. I stopped in my tracks and thank God officer (enter name here) realized I was no threat allowed me take a knee on the outside of the room that caged these savages. After a few mandatory minutes of data collection, stern warnings, and even a few laughs the officer (enter name here) informed me Johnny Argonaut was nowhere to be seen and I was free to go. Excellent I said, it’s only the seventh inning and I can still buy a few beers before they shut it down! No, you are leaving, and I don’t want to see you here in Shawshank again over the next 81 games…..

Moral of the story:

Eat some food next time you jackass.

Go Jays!

Game 7: Win Or Lose, We Hit The Booze

Details remain sketchy but one thing is for certain, a good time was had by all at the home opener. 

I did not get to see the finish due to the fact someone in my party got unnecessarily tossed for beating up an old man.  I blame the Lance Broadway AKA Team Enforcer jersey he was wearing for the first time.....

You had to know we were heading in that general direction when Nemesis tweeted this.

What I do remember is John Buck hitting a huge dinger and Rios got booed everytime he did anything.

There was also a Randy Ruiz sighting but at that point I was looooooooooooooong gone. 

Check the boxscore for all the details: click here

Of note: I was not able to pick up any hotties even after offering them free mustache rides.....