2010-08-05

Mike Samuel Wilner Hits Last In "Celebrity" Softball Game


If you haven't notice, let me be extremely clear about this: I have a lot of hate in my heart for Jays Talk host Samuel Wilner.  Like a lot.

So after he let it slip that August 1st was his wedding anniversary with his wife Natalia - who apparently can't jog for shit - I wanted to give him my present since I wasn't invited to the party for some odd reason.  The party that was no doubt catered by his in laws that live in the basement of his Mississauga home.

Can you say: Mail Order Bride?

My Present:










I was able to get my hands on some pictures of Samuel playing a little slopitch not to long back.  He blogged about it and as you can see by this sample, he took it a little bit more serious than he probably should have:

The next time up, I hit a little nubber up the first-base line, hurdled over it as it spun towards the foul line, and got thrown out at first by the pitcher.  But umpire Bruce Hood ruled, in his infinite wisdom, that the ball had gone foul before it was picked up, so I got another chance and managed to deliver a sac fly.  So it was 1-for-1 with a sac fly, two ribbies and one near-miss of a major Miss Canada International dental bill, for a 1.000/.500/3.000 slash line.

I have become one of the players I hate - guys with an OBP that’s lower than their batting average.


 Samuel smells extra bases and legs out a "deep" triple into the left field corner:


Here he is serving up some meat balls:


And finally, him taking a well deserved breather:


Samuel sounds like a complete and total perfect mash up of angry young guy and stat dork:

12 comments:

  1. If he sees this he will never take your call again-assuming you bother to call...

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  2. Finally a kindred spirit: someone who hates that arrogant fatass dork as much as I do. Everyone makes stupid predictions; Wilner is making a career out of them. On his radio show he acts like a spoiled brat who won't let you play with his toys unless you agree with every retarded thing he says.

    Seeing Wilner put out of our misery would make me almost as happy as I was when Ricciardi got canned.

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  3. Way too funny!!! I don't really know much about that guy, but after that I hate him too!!

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  4. Mattt,
    I wouldn't bother calling Wilner unless I wanted to talk about Lyle Overbay or Scott Richmond. You know he compared Richmond's slider to Dave Stieb's last month?

    Yeah. That actually happened.

    Parker,
    You and I need to get together for a beer sometime. I'll buy the first round.

    Wils,
    All you really need to know is that he is a major duchebag. You can listen for yourself after any game by cutting and pasting the link below:

    http://a723.l8087450722.c80874.n.lm.akamaistream.net/D/723/80874/v0001/reflector:50722

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  5. Golden Arm - Absolutely! I don't know that I'll be able to make it to Toronto again this year but I'll definitely keep that in mind for next year's trip.

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  6. Golden Arm, thanks for that gift of a link above. Now I don't have to pay for MLB At Bat to listen to the games online. I'll keep it a secret.

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  7. Wilner is the voice of intelligent baseball discussion in Canada, you fucking rubes.

    He's also mechanically perfect at the plate and runs like a young Mookie Wilson.

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  8. I don't know how I missed this but I can't stop laughing. SO GOOD!

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  9. Anon,
    Wilner is a fucking idiot. He wants the Jays to be run like a fantasy team and read Moneyball one to many times.
    As for his game on the diamond.....I heard he was a little to excited about his sac fly. Like who gives a fuck about a sac fly in slopitch.

    Callum,
    Thanks for stopping by and checking in! We aim to please.

    Nice job on the Koch piece.
    http://mopupduty.com/index.php/billy-koch/

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  10. Wilner is not always right and people are free to disagree with him if they can put together comments or arguments that make sense. Mr. Wilner is unpopular largely because he does not play nice and does not compliment people when they make invalid arguments or statements on air. Unlike Andy Frost who often talked nicely to many goofballs and dufuses who have called in to Leaf Talk over the years, Wilner, as host of Jays Talk, does not.

    Some of the images photoshopped into the photos above say more about the immaturity and lack of class of the person who put them there than Wilner.

    Grow up.

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    Replies
    1. 100% this is Wilner responding! Probably loves to google his name and found this. You don't need to talk in third person Mikey!

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