2017-07-14

Sweet Jesus, the Jays fucking blow


For the record, I have found a proxy who is old and fakes injuries to bypass the lines.



Everybody loves free shit.

And make no mistake about it, the Blue Jays love giving you free shit as long as you’re dumb enough to line up hours before first pitch and spend triple the cost of said free item on food and beverage.

The house always wins.

So for all you greedy fucks who wait for the promo schedule to be announced before you pick your games - you know who you are - let’s take a look at the actual GAME results for every freebie this year to date.

Hint: YUCK

Date/Promo/Attendance/Result

April 11 Opening Day Rally Towel 48,456  L 4-3
April 16 Bringer of Rain Umbrella 38,188  L 11-4
April 30 Stro Jersey 42,986  W 3-1
May 11 Jose T-shirt 29,120  W 7-2
May 14 Marco Bobble head 42,030  W 3-2
May 28 Cowboy Hat 46,188  L 3-1
May 31 Team Card Set 44,058  W 5-4
June 1 Tulo T-shirt 37,722  L 12-2
June 4 Donaldson Bobble head 46,782  W 3-2
June 13 MLB Bag 39,404  L 8-1
June 18 Grilli BBQ Apron 46,599  W 7-3
June 29 Stro T-shirt 37,291  L 2-0
July 1 Red Jays Hat 46,672  L 7-1
July 2 150 Baseball 46,696  L 15-2
July 9 Sanchez Bobble head 46,622  L 19-1

6 Wins; 9 Losses
42 Runs Scored; 95 Runs Allowed

On the plus side, you’ve got a closet full of swag; on the negative side, you’ve paid a premium in both dollars and time to watch our boys play at woeful .400 clip (which is slightly better than the Giants, who are currently 27 games out of first place).

There's no real point to this post except it may help explain where that annoying, mouth-breathing, let’s-tear-the-whole-thing-down-and-rebuild-it-right-after-I-call-Jays-talk bandwagon fan, who always corners you at work on Monday morning and starts the conversation with “Sweet Jesus, the Jays fucking blow," is coming from.

2017-04-04

25 Man Roster Challenge goes down to the wire!


Yet another installment of The 25 Man Roster Challenge has come and gone. As usual, it did not disappoint.

With less than 24 hours to go, it was a real possibility that we would have not only one, but three perfect ballots this year. Considering it had never happened in the seven previous editions, that would have been a rare feat indeed. But, like so many times before, the braintrust overthought everything and snatched the perfect ballot dream from our grasp.

Here is your 2017 Toronto Blue Jays opening day roster:





Since all 18 ballots submitted contained the names Melvin Upton and Roberto Osuna, it basically turned into a 23 Man Roster Challenge. Below are the seven team’s that nailed 22 of 25 names correctly and therefore advanced to the tiebreaker phase.

Team BJH: 13 – 20
Over on the PECOTA: 14 – 17
Jimmy Triggs: 16 – 16
Team Tayls: 17 – 15
Jays are my 2nd favourite team: 18 – 13
@scottspicer: 10 – 19
Humain Rain Delay: 18 – 10

The Blue Jays played to a 12 – 18 – 3 spring training record, which works out to a 13.5 – 19.5 record using the modified tiebreaker formula, or a .409 winning percentage.

Taking another look at the teams, it came down to just two titans of Blue Jay fandom.

Team BJH: .393 or 0.016 under
Over on the PECOTA: .451 or 0.042 over

Sorry, Clint, Ian took this thing by a nose. The always gentlemanly Blue Jay Hunter was contacted to arrange for delivery of the well-earned loot...and he flatly declined. He did ask that the winnings be rolled over into next year’s challenge and even offered to add to the prize pool because that’s the sort of dude he is. 

Thanks to all who joined this year and we hope to see you again next year as the search for the perfect ballot continues.

As an aside, this challenge is basically all that’s left of this blog. Over the years, we all have found much better things to do with our time. Not a knock on those who still agonize over generating posts on a somewhat daily basis but, man, it’s exhausting. After you think of an idea and spend time developing it to the point where it’s fit to press post, surely some dickhead will come along and quote wOBP or UZR and then tell you how stupid you are.

2017-03-21

Update: The 25 Man Roster Challenge


















We've been scouring the internet for the last few weeks and gathered some notes from the Blue Jays camp. Today we wanted to pass along some good and not so good news to teams competing in The 25 Man Roster Challenge.

Of the 18 ballots submitted, 10 went with LHP Aaron Loup. So far that looks like a very nice call. Gibby and by extension all MLB managers like to have multiple lefties available to them. Don't buy it?

Prepare to get Wilnerized.....



And then this appeared about a week later from a much more tolerable source. To sum up, those 10 ballots are looking pretty slick.



5 of the ballots submitted thought lightning could strike twice. Well, it won't with respect to Rule V pick 2017 The Sparkman. Gotta feel for the guy, his rehab will be stupid long. I'm sure he would rather just get back on a mound and pitch, service time be damned.



For those that actually give a fuck what Wilner thinks, he's been doing a weekly series on who he thinks will head north with the team. You can find his latest thoughts here. In fairness, he's a pretty swell writer.

That's about it for now. All you that took the under on the tiebreaker are looking pretty good. Your Toronto Blue Jays spring training record sits at a dick softening 6 - 14 - 2.

2017-02-18

And They're Off!



Just wanted to say thank you to everyone for joining us this year. Without you, there would be no 25 Man Roster Challenge.

Here are some fast facts from the 8th edition of the Roster Challenge:

  • There were 18 ballots submitted before the deadline
  • One late ballot that will not be considered
  • 4 ballots do not think Joe Biagini makes the cut
  • 5 ballots hope the Jays strike Rule V gold again
  • 6 ballots are feeling minor league invitee Gavin Floyd
  • Aaron Loup is the great divide this year with just over half the ballots selecting him
  • All ballots contained 19 identical names

Devon Travis
Troy Tulowitzki
Josh Donaldson
Russell Martin
Melvin Upton
Kevin Pillar
Jose Bautista
Kendrys Morales
Marcus Stroman
Aaron Sanchez
Marco Estrada
Francisco Liriano
J.A. Happ
Roberto Osuna
Jason Grilli
JP Howell
Steve Pearce
Jarrod Saltalamacchia
Darwin Barney

Once again apologies for the length of this post. Each ballot has a team name, their tiebreaker and the remaining 6 players not listed above. Our thoughts or any other interesting details regarding the ballot will be added, as deemed necessary. 

There were only two players selected once. Their names will be bolded. These are the hail mary situations.

Hip Happ Horray’s
16-15

Zeke Carrera
Gavin Floyd
Aaron Loup
Ryan Goins
Joe Smith
Glenn Sparkman

Hands down our favourite ballot this year. The owner made a change with just over an hour to go before the deadline.

OUT Biagini…..IN Rule V guy

The only ballot to give Go Go and his out of options .224/.270/.325 62 OPS+ career hitting self a nod on the opening day roster. This was also the only ballot not to contain the name Justin Smoak. You must take chances to win at this game and Team Hip Happ Horray’s has certainly done just that. Let’s see how it works out.

Jimmy Triggs
16-16

Team Tayls
17-15

Team BJH
13-20

Biagini
Mike Bolsinger
Carerra
Loup
Smith
Justin Smoak

Three ballots the same? Looks like we have ourselves a legit favourite. If it comes down to the tiebreaker, the team's spring training record will loom large.

The Ant Farm
20-13

@1BJW
18-14

Biagini
Bolsinger
Carrera
Bo Schultz
Smith
Smoak

Guess I shouldn’t have answered truthfully when Ant Guy asked me my point of view on this year’s team.

Team Gregor
18-14

Bye Bye Barry
17-14-1

Biagini
Bolsinger
Carerra
Gavin Floyd
Smith
Smoak

We are once again honoured to be joined by the beat reporter for MLB.com this year. You can check out Gregor’s detailed thoughts on the roster by clicking here.

Shout out to team Bye Bye Barry for the fantastic team name and the great company you’re in with selecting this ballot. Gonna miss that midget on the broadcasts. If this ends up being the winning combination of players, the tiebreaker is gonna be epic.

I Like Nuts
17-15-1

Biagini
Bolsinger
Carrera
Loup
Schultz
Smoak

Only ballot not to contain the name Joe Smith on it, if that’s even a real name.

Sigbox
22-11

Bolsinger
Loup
Dalton Pompey
Schultz
Smith
Smoak

Showing Mississauga’s finest some love!

@scottwspicer
10-19

Biagini
Carrera
Smith
Smoak
Schultz
Ryan Tepera

How about a little bit of positivity on the spring training record? This ballot is planning on watching some train wreck type level baseball and quite a few rain outs this spring. 

Over on the PECOTA
14-17

Biagini
Carrera
Loup
Smith
Smoak
Sparkman

Last Row 500’s
15-17-1

Biagini
Bolsinger
Carrera
Smith
Smoak
Sparkman

Jays are my 2nd favourite team
18-13

Biagini
Carrera
Loup
Smith
Smoak
Sparkman

@AndyMc9293
23-10

Biagini
Carerra
Floyd
Schultz
Smith
Smoak

OkOkBlueJays
18-15

Biagini
Carrera
Floyd
Loup
Smith
Smoak

These 5 ballots are all very close with the final couple of bullpen arms being the difference. 

Harrow Super Stars
18-11

Bolsinger
Carrera
Floyd
Smith
Smoak
Sparkman

Human Rain Delay
18-10

Bolsinger
Carrera
Loup
Smith
Smoak
Tepera

And with that, we are officially a go. Good luck to all the contestants and enjoy monitoring the spring battles for jobs in camp.

Oh, almost forgot. Fuck that Matt Latos guy.

2017-02-13

Get Your Ballot In!



Hope you can join us this year. All you need to do is guess who you think will be the 25 players on the Blue Jays opening day roster. Throw in a team name, a tiebreaker and your ballot is set.

Simple enough and you can win free prizes.

Click here for details