Pretty Shitty All Star Post

We can't believe this game decides home field advantage in the World Series.  Like it blows our mind that our sport does this.

Anyways, here are some picks that we would like to see in the game.  Keeping in mind that:

A) we think the game itself is a joke
B) we think the voting process is a bigger joke
C) this is a Blue Jays blog
D) we like our fellow Canadians
E) we absolutely HATE the Yankees and Red Sox

1st Base: Justin Morneau

He is the leading vote getter currently.  Probably because Target Field is selling out every night and not the fact he is in the mix for a potential triple crown.  But so is Miguel Cabrera.  In this case, we pull out the Canadian connection card and our vote goes to the boy from New Westminster, B.C.  Did anybody else notice his .447 OBP? 

We will say this: Mark Teixeira and his .225 average have no business being second in votes ahead of Miggy.  That's just insane.....

2nd Base: Robinson Cano

Pains us to do it but he is clearly the pick.  Moving right along.....

3rd Base: Evan Longoria

You know what, we think Adrian Beltre probably deserves it more.  But he is a Red Sox and we say fuck em.

Shortstop: Alex Gonzalez

Some guy named Jeter has 2,692,418 votes and his numbers look like this:

.280 8 HR 39 RBI

Our pick has 556,965 votes and his numbers look like this:

.269 13 HR 38 RBI

For the record:
Yankees attendance to this point in the season 1,597,690
Blue Jays attendance to this point in the season 606,247

Catcher: Joe Mauer

Realistically you could give it to any of the following guys: Mauer, Martinez or Posada.  They are all having somewhat comparable seasons.  But since Mauer is the only one who does not play for our free spending fucking divisional rivals, he gets the nod.

DH: Vladimir Guerrero

Vladdy is having a hell of a season and looks to be the bounce back player of the year so far.  Playing in that ballpark in Texas must be helping his power numbers a bit, 15 HR 57 RBI, but how do you explain the 4 stolen bases?

Outfield: Josh Hamilton

What can you say about this guy?  His numbers for this year almost match his numbers for all of last year.....He looks healthy and deserves to be recognized.

2009: 89 Games 336 AB .268 AVG 10 HR 54 RBI
2010: 68 Games 274 AB ..339 AVG 17 HR 53 RBI 

Outfield: Ichiro Suzuki

Ichiro is doing what Ichiro does.  Second in the league in hits, gold glove caliber defense in RF, stealing bases even though he is "getting on" in years. 

Outfield: Jose Bautista

Alright, this is a total homer pick.  We could have very easily picked some floater from the White Sox or free agent to be / future Yankee Carl Crawford with this final pick.  And they are both very deserving candidates.


Ever since The Blue Jay Hunter came up with this brilliant idea Ballots for Bautista and we decided to jump on board, well, there is no backing down now.  Bautista just hammered 2 more home runs last night and currently leads the Major Leagues with 20.  He hit a rough patch there for a few weeks and we know he is hitting .232 but.....

Let's put it this way: How the fuck is the Major League leader in home runs not going to be in the All Star game? 

Starting Pitcher: David Price

One final fuck you to Phil Hughes, Clay Buchholz, Andy Pettitte, John Lackey, Jon Lester and CC Sabathia.

Price is 10 - 3 with a 2.45 ERA.  But more importantly, he doesn't play for the Evil Empire or the Red Sucks.....yet.

A quick side note: We would be perfectly happy if NONE of our pitchers made the roster for this stupid game.  Marcum, Romero and Cecil have good enough numbers to be considered but we would much prefer they use the break to get some rest and come out flying in the second half.   


  1. Haha out of all the posts I have read recently, I think this one is my favourite! Erhm, I mean my fucking favourite.

    Finally, someone understands my hate for the rivals!

    I could not agree more - the team could use the days off for rest or as time to spend with family, instead of the possibility of injuring themselves or tiring themselves out at the All Star Game!

    I would like to see Bautista make it, other than that, I dont really care, but would rather, as you mention, for those overpriced teams to stay out of it.

    I was hoping Lind would make it last year (did you SEE his number pre-All Star?) but alas it seems that we just do not have the fan base to get our players in the game...whether that is a good thing or not.

    Love the post.

  2. April,
    Funny thing is, I edited out about 6 f bombs before I posted it.

    Game is a joke. Voting is a joke.

    Thanks for stopping by!

  3. As always, thanks for the B4B plug, he needs all the help he can get. If he doesn't get a starting slot, the least the coaches can do is get him into the ASG as a bench player.

    Then he can sock some dingers in the Home Run Derby!

  4. If the Jays just stay in Toronto and workout/hang out and stay healthy, I'm happy. The second season starts after this and we are still in it. Yes, I'm aware of the long odds, but if you can't hope it's possible then why bother being a fan?

  5. @Hunter,
    It is our pleasure to help in any way we can! J-Bau should get on the team but as I said earlier it will have to be a replacement for an injured player. Can't really wish that on anyone can you?

    I'm with you but we need a guy there in our colours to represent! I just pray it is not a pitcher.....let the Red Sucks and Skankees figure out their second half rotations after half their starters pitch an inning in this waste of time game.