The minute I heard your Toronto Blue Jays were in the running for the Japanese "ace" known as Yu Darvish, I ran downstairs to my completely outdated CD collection and pulled out a gem from my past.
Tokyo Ghetto Pussy.
I felt it is worthy of it's own paragraph. Now before you laugh at me (too late?) it's important to remember we were all young and stupid once upon a time.
This disk contains some serious musical genius, such as:
Everybody On The Floor (Pump It) - Radio Edit
Everybody On The Floor (Pump It) - Remix
I Kiss Your Lips
To Another Galaxy
I immediately inserted this disk into the CD player in my car and there it has remained since. I defy you to listen to track 2 and have a bad day. Can't do it.
The thing is, every time I indulge in this now not-so-secret pleasure it prompts me to daydream about what could have been.
At first the ESPN hype machine was in overdrive mode with daily reports on his 7 pitch mix, mid 90's fastball, blah, blah, blah. It was and still is to an extent impossible to escape.
A typical internal conversation that I have, while listening at ear bleeding volumes with my foot to the floor, goes a little something like this:
- Man, we really missed out on something here.
- Hold on there Captain Positive, maybe, just maybe, we lucked out.
- Impossible. HE HAS 7 FUCKING PITCHES.
- Sure he does. Which ones can he throw for strikes to MLB hitters?
- Who knows and who cares! It would sure be fun to watch.
- Granted. But for the money spent, shouldn't we already know the answer to this question and many others?
- Fuck that, it's not my money.
- Nice attitude moron. It's all relative. You could pay for two entire drafts with just one year of his combined salary/posting fee.
- He's going to be a star and we missed out big time.
- Well he's being paid like he's a star, so he had better become one.
And that's pretty much where I leave it every single time.
Only time will tell whether this move that did not happen was in fact a good one.
In the interim I'm relieved that it's somebody else's problem.